Could there be love after cats?

I know I have been on a MAJOR hiatus with this blog but, I didn't want to bore you with anymore cat stories so let me update you quickly. The cat date was interesting ... "smoking hot guy" fell in love with my cat. It's almost as if I didn't exist. Nothing really major happened that night. We did bond over some personal things he shared with me and he opened up in a way he never had before. A couple of weeks later he went away on vacation and asked me to care for his cat while he was gone.

I have never spoken to him so many times on the phone in the 9 months that I have known him until the week and a half that he was on vacation. There was one call on a Saturday night at 1am local time. The reason? To check on his cat. Seriously? You call me from Hawaii on a Saturday night to check on your cat? Who does that? And a final call on a Tuesday from New York to tell me he was going to call on Sunday when he got back so we could see each other. I think I got asked out on a date that time. I wasn't sure because it went something like this.... ME: "So how is NY?" SMOKING HOT GUY: "Great, I'm having a wonderful time" Blah, blah, blah, ME: "I hope you are going out on the town to have some fun" SMOKING HOT GUY: "I'm on the train on my way to meet my friend" Blah, blah, blah....."So what are you doing on Sunday?" "Do you want to see me?"
ME: "Yeah sure"

The anticipation builds all week, I cannot wait until Sunday. I get a text from him saying he missed his morning flight and is trying to get on the next one. I let him know that if it's too late we can hangout some other time. He insists on seeing me. I'm very impressed at this point because I have NEVER seen him respond to me in this way. He arrives, picks up his car and heads straight over to my place. As soon as I open the door, there he is smoking a cigarette with a huge smile on his face. I give him the biggest hug ever and he compliments me on my t-shirt. He starts telling me a story about this gay flight attendant that was hitting on him during the flight. I can't stop laughing and he casually throws in " You should move to New York". I go with the flow and express how much I like New York and that I have many friends over there. So we go inside and he tells me that there is a possible job opportunity out there for him and he might be moving. My heart is totally crushed at this point, I'm not the kind of girl that would beg a guy to stay with her. I want him to be happy but, I don't want to stand in the way of his happiness. I'm trying to be as supportive as humanly possible when he tells me how much he liked New York and he can't wait to go back. So I try to lighten the mood by suggesting we play cards and drink. He agrees and tries to get me drunk. We start playing all kinds of games until we run out of ideas. And then he suggests "Strip Blackjack" I said what the hell, this should be interesting. He loses, clothes come off. I loose and even more clothes come off. So I'm sitting at the table in my bra and panties, he is sitting at the table in his pants and I LOSE!!!!

There is no way I am taking off any more of my clothes, he tries to persuade me and I say no. So he calls a truce and when he puts his hand out to shake my hand he gets up, so I get up. We shake hands, then he pulls me in for a hug and then....

A KISS!!!! Finally!!! Thank you Jesus!!! Someone up there is listening!!!!

Things start to get hot and heavy....I immediately kill the mood and start asking questions. Because the cards are out on the table literally and I'm not stepping another inch forward until I know exactly what's going on. So I ask him what are we doing? He answers me, "This can be whatever you want it to be." Never the kind of thing a girl wants to hear when she's in her underwear making out with a "smoking hot guy". After a long drawn out conversation we both admit that we like each other and he tells me, he doesn't think he would be a good boyfriend to me right now because his whole life is up in the air and that he doesn't want to hurt me. This makes total logical sense and is a completely valid reason. If you are a man but, I am not a man I am a woman. I understand where he is coming from but at the same time I can't even be mad at him because he's being completely truthful! What do I do? And this is the question that I have been asking myself all month. I still have no answer. So I ask you, my bloggers out there in blog land. What would you do? If you met someone that has almost every quality you have been searching for and it feels so right when you are together. I'm old enough to know not to throw a good fish like this back in the sea but I've had too many bad dating experiences to make a stupid decision at this point. Please post comments!